5 TIPS TO PREPARE YOUR CHILDREN FOR RAMADAN (EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE CHILDREN)
Ramadan Prep Series #2
Yes, even if you don’t have children.
Stay with me.
﷽
I’ve come again.
Is this what consistency is?
Looks good on me, no?
I knowwww, ☺️.
ماشاءالله
اللهم بارك
Last week, I had a book reading session with a small group of teens about the the character of the people of the Qur’aan.
At the end of the session, I asked them one thing they’d learnt and one thing they’d implement through the week.
Their responses stirred a thought and left my heart feeling some type of way — a good mushy, I-want-to-cry-and-smile-and-curl-up-in-bed-all-at-once way.
I whispered a du’aa.
And I think it’s a du’aa that has come to stay.
When we think about Tarbiyah, parenting, sometimes we are overwhelmed with the idea that we alone are responsible for this child(ren); human(s) in progress.
And we think about all our shortcomings and gaps — and wonder if we’re the right people for the job.
If this is you,
Then repeat after me:
I *insert name*, flawed as I am, am the right parent for my child — not because I’m perfect, but because Allaah chose me for the task, and He subhaanahu wa ta’ala makes no mistakes, His decisions are perfect and He is the All Wise.
And keep that affirmation close to your chest.
But that was a side note.
The point I was making (or trying to make) is that your children, while they are your primary responsibility and you IS the shepherd — will be grown and cultivated by others too.
This village they keep talking about, it exists.
Sometimes you get to choose the villagers sometimes you don’t; sometimes the villagers are people, other times they’re things — anyhow, the village exists and the village will village.
It will teach your child(ren) things that may empower or disempower them; influence your child in ways that enable or sabotage your plans for and efforts with them.
And you can only control what you can control.
But Allaah, everything is subject to His Command. His control is all encompassing.
وهو على كل شيء قدير
Now, again, the point I was trying to make — and why I insisted even you; shepherdess-in-progress, mum-in-advance, read this post too — is to remind you that (whether or not you know it) you are part of a village too.
You are a villager in someone’s village. Sometimes in multiple villages.
What role are you playing?
How can you be a more pro-active villager?
And perhaps through this service, Allaah will gift you too with villagers in the future that will help you do the work.
But this post is about Ramadan Prep for your children…
So here are 5 quick tips from me and my big sisters in mothering:
READ BOOKS ABOUT RAMADAN:
This is as important for younger kids as it is for older kids as it is for adults. Reading is a great way to (re)learn about the virtues of Ramadan and fasting. And for younger kids, it’s great exposure to the concept of fasting and the significance of Ramadan in our deen.
So curate a reading list ahead of Ramadan (I mean like today) and keep them accessible.
I have a few book recommendations for young children, let me know in the comments if you’d like me to share that in a future post!
HAVE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT RAMADAN:
This one is great for ginger. I mean it. You know when it’s like 3 months to Ramadan and roadtoihsan is disturbing you about planning for Ramadan but you just can’t bring yourself to plan because you’re not “feeling it” yet.
Fast forward 2 months later and Ramadan is in a few weeks and now every other post or reel on the internet is about Ramadan.
You’re finally starting to “feel it” — you’re finally getting some ginger to get started with your planning.
Help your children “feel it” too through conversations and literally making everything about Ramadan.
Some conversation starters could be..
Younger children:
“Do you know how much reward we get for fasting?”
“Do you know what the prophet used to break his fast?”
“Can you guess how many Ramadan baba has fasted in his life?”
“Did you know that there’s a door in Jannah and only the people that fast get to enter through it? Do you know its name?”
etc.
Key is it to make it interesting and engaging (so that they participate) and goal driven (so that they benefit).
Older children:
Engage them in research, learning and conversations about matters related to fasting.
“There seems to be a difference of opinion in whether or not cupping (Hijama) nullifies fasting, have you read about that?”
Child: No.
Parent: I’m curious, can you check what the rulings and evidences are for each? I’d like to hear your thoughts about the different opinions.
You can also get older children to explain to or teach younger siblings.
Parent: younger sibling Z is struggling to understand why we have to fast an entire month. I’d like for you to help explain to them some of the benefits of fasting and virtues of Ramadan — we can host a Ramadan stories night on Saturday, that way you have sometime to do more research too.
etc.
INVOLVE THEM IN THE PLANNING PROCESS:
Ramadan is a beautiful time to work as a team. One way to help your children be more invested in Ramadan is including them in the planning process. If you’re making a meal plan consult your younger children —
“do you think we should have Dan wake for Iftaar on Saturdays or Mondays?”
“should we order samosas and meat pies this year or spring rolls instead?”
Even when they give you suggestions that aren’t practical, engage and guide them to better decisions rather than dismiss them.
You can have older kids take charge of certain tasks — drafting a meal plan, shopping list, the actual shopping, decluttering, scouting organizations for your Ramadan Sadaqah etc.
ENCOURAGE THEM TO SET GOALS:
This one is clear cut with older children. You can help them review their goals and make them more fail proof while being their accountability buddy.
For younger children, let your conversations end with a commitment.
“Did you know that Prophet ﷺ used to give the most charity in Ramadan?”
“What would you like to give in Charity this Ramadan?”
Before you know it, you’re learning more about the etiquettes of charity too!
Another idea for younger children is to have a good deeds jar (great craft idea too). Last year we made one with the Muslim homeschool Nigeria community.
Get a free template and guide here.
ENGAGE MORE WITH THE QUR’AAN:
Engaging with Qur’aan is a significant part of Ramadan. This is a good time to get your children to fall in love with or strengthen their connection with the Qur’aan.
For younger children, tell them stories from the Qur’aan. Play more Qur’aan around the house so they’ve more exposure to it. Recite along with them.
For older children have them read or watch tafsir of selected surahs (scholars recommend Fatiha and the smaller surahs, then their favorite surahs).
Start a tradition.
Last year, even though my daughter was only 3 at the time, we introduced Qur’aan Tea Time (QTT) — an idea I dubbed from Sis UmmKulthum of Homeschool Naija — a spin on Julie Bogarts Poetry Tea Time.
The plan was after Taraweeh, we’d have tea and snacks and tell a Qur’aan story.
But it was a case of what I ordered vs. what I got 😂.
First of all, I didn’t have energy for a whole platter, somedays it was a sandwich or samosa and other days just the tea.
But tea was constant.
And we didn’t always have a Qur’aan story to tell, so somedays we just shared reflections on a Qur’aan verse we’d read that day or learnt and other days, we just caught up.
Also, we did about 18 to 20 out of 30 days.
I promise to do better this year, in shaa Allaah.
For starters, I have more endurance for the kitchen this year and I got a book with Qur’aan stories (again let me know if you want that book recommendations list) and we might be changing our QTT timing 🤔
Will you be joining me on a QTT Challenge this year?
For the past (almost) 1 hour that I have been typing this, bunny has been begging me to come and bake (in her kitchen) with her.
I even had to set a timer which she negotiated for her to give me sometime.
And it’s 3 minutes to ‘Asr time.
So this is where we’ll call it a post.
جزاكم الله خيرا و احسن الله اليكن
For the feedback on my last post!
I practically squealed at every notification of a new comment.
So thank youuuu!
Your comments have led me to show up, today, again.
So please keep them coming.
If you’d like the book recommendations — type “books please” in the comments and I’ll be sure to make a whole post on it, in shaa Allaah.
If you found this post helpful, then please, leave a 🤍 in the comments.
Your sister in striving,
Fatimah
On the road to Ihsan.
Jazakillahu khairan🤍🤍
Books please
🤍🤍