You have been adulting. Not in the way that you would casually say when you have to do things that require expending energy or money or both. But in a way that requires hard, very very tough calls. You are experiencing life in all its complexities; no one’s shielding you from harsh realities, no one’s making tough calls on your behalf. You. You are doing it. You are adulting life-ing. You are experiencing it, all of it, first-hand or vicariously; child birth and loss. Marriage and divorce. Illnesses and grief. Hustling and financial drain. You are navigating difficult, sometimes painful, experiences and it is TOUGH.
May Allah lighten our burden.
This is the way of the Dunya; a series of incessant trials and upheavels. And Allah did give you a heads up, several even. He says;
الَّذِيْ خَلَقَ الْمَوْتَ وَالْحَيٰوةَ لِيَبْلُوَكُمْ اَيُّكُمْ اَحْسَنُ عَمَلًاۚ
{He it is} Who has created death and life, that He may test you, which of you is best in deed...
[Surah Mulk, Ayah 2]
To test you, will you -despite the chaos, inspite of it- be of those who are best in deeds?
You must come to terms with the fact that there is simply no way to dodge or avoid them, and perhaps you have. These trials will find you, at one point or the other, you can't evade them. Allah says;
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوْعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْاَمْوَالِ وَالْاَنْفُسِ وَالثَّمَرٰتِۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصّٰبِرِيْنَ
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin
[Surah Baqarah, Ayah 155]
It's easier to numb, to resort to distractions and 'escapes'. And O the multitude of options at your (literal) finger tips!
But this is not where it ends, there is return, accontability, forgiveness, reward and punishment in the hereafter. For how long can you 'escape'?
What you can do is learn how to navigate them so you don't lose yourself in the turbulence. So you don't drown at sea when the storm hits. So you can demonstrate constancy, Sabr through the many inevitable phases of your life.
How can you adult life with happiness and tranquility while hoping to earn reward and the Pleasure of Allah, inspite of the chaos?
In his book, 8 steps to Happiness, Imam AbdurRahman Ibn Naasir As-Sa'di wrote;
"The intelligent person knows that his real life is the life he lives in happiness (sa'adah) and tranquillity (tama’niyyah), and that it is very short indeed.
Therefore, It is not wise to shorten it further with sorrow and let it drift away with turmoil as this goes against a truly lived life. He will feel a massive loss when most of his life is lost in vain due to sadness and pessimism…
There is no doubt or illusion that happiness is sought by every person from every walk of life. Yet, how it is sought remains the key for many of us to understand in pursuit of it. Some find joy in accumulating wealth, hoping this will fill the void of being content.
For others, it is indulging in faulty entertainment, vices and promiscuity and anything that might distract attention away from reality, even if it is considered unlawful or immoral.
Others drown in bottles of alcohol or in the sounds of the decadent music industry; each witnessing and seeking something that will lure them out of states of grief and anxiety etc.
How then is delight and contentment achieved?"
This is my personal invite to you, to join us at Maktabah this June as we dive into this beautiful and concise book to learn the 8 steps to happiness taking guidance from the Qur'aan and Sunnah -- and there is no better guide than what Allah revealed and sent to us on the tongue of His Messenger ﷺ.
Every week in shaa Allah, we will have a live book-reading call on Friday, so it's okay if you are not a reader, simply listen in.
These live calls are accompanied with a worksheet which is voluntary but highly recommended for you, to help consolidate your learning and reflect on the lessons.
During this one month, you will be a part of a community of fellow sisters-in-striving to share thoughts, reflections, duaa and tap into their energy.
I'd love for you to grow with us.
Your sister-in-striving,
Fatimah,
On the road to Ihsan